I am tired of seeing children disappear and I am sure it bothers you as well. I am not going to focus on all the bad things that can happen but instead, I am going to tell you my thoughts on what we can do about it.

Safety needs to be a mindset, a way of life, that flows through our daily life. By handling it this way, our children won't be as frightened because we have addressed the issues of safety during our daily experience of living.

Safety must begin with the mind first. Contrary to everything else I see out there, we must help children focus and process first so when something happens, they will think instead of feel, which is what children typically do first since the are primarily sensors for most of the childhood and adolescence.

What are you doing to help your children think safe on a routine basis? Be sure to take the time to answer this question so you can be more confident your children are prepared to deal with the difficult moments which could come their way.

Always,

Catherine

I was waiting to see my doctor and that is not something I particularly enjoy very much. However, I find if I am patient, I will learn something in the waiting. It may be about myself, other people, the office staff, or ten other things but I will learn if I check my attitude.

While I was waiting, a mother and her two children came in. She signed in and and sat down on the same row where I was sitting, There were only two seats available and since there were three of them, I moved to the other side so they could sit together.

The children were talking among themselves and every once ina while they would ask the mother a question. She ignored them mostly and when she did speak to them, it was in an inpatient manner. The children were simply trying to engage her in some emotional capacity but she would not engage.

I have been around children and parents for over thirty years and I will tell you that children have emotional hunger like they have physical hunger. They want to engage with us. They want us to talk to them about things other than their behavior. They want us to like being with them and they want to know we enjoy their company.

In fact, I think emotional neediness is one of the great epidemics of our time. The good news is we have the ability to change it by simply being emotionally present and accounted for when we are in the regular moments of life. Step outside yourself the next time you are with your kids the one of the "regular" life moments and see how you are doing in filling your children's emotional stomachs.

Maybe the better organ to describe their emotional need is their heart!

Be in charge!

Now that sounds stern but my intention is to get your attention.

Either you will be in charge of your holidays or the holidays will be in charge of you. Before it gets to far down the road, take a minute and decide your definition of a succesful Christmas holiday. If you know what you want it to look like before you get to the end, you will be more likely to see it accomplished.

What days are you going to spend together simply enjoying the season as a family? What traditions do you have or do you want to establish this year?

Because my husband has always been in ministry, our calendar was filled to the top. In order for the children to have their dad all to themselves,, we would attend Christmas events at other churches and Christmas concerts with Christian music artists.

We also made sure we were always involved in Christmas outreach events to help the underprivileged This allowed our children to see how blessed they were and how we have a responsibility to help those who are less fortunate.

We also made sure we just had fun. Whether it was decorating the tree, going out in the neighborhood to see the lights, or baking cookies to give to neighbors, we tried not to lose sight of the simple things.

What I discovered as a mother was that if I did not make these "special" family times a priority, my good intentions would not become a reality. By making a special Chrsitmas calendar, it allowed me to visually keep an eye on our schedule so I could literally "see" when we were getting out of balance.

One of most important things you can teach your children is that being together as a family, regardless of your circumstances, is a gift. It shows them what love really looks like and isn't that the gift God gave us? The reason we celebrate Chrsitamas is the gift of te presence of Christ, His only Son.

Be intentional with your Christmas and it will be the most special one you will ever have!

I have become increasingly aware of a phenomenon that is harmful to our children. It seems that it is rampant among our kids yet invisible at the same time. We don't seem to notice the problem until someone points it out.


The issue I am talking about is touching and hugging our kids. We seem to do a better job of it when they are little and that is partially because they need us so. But as they get older, we don't touch them as often. We seem to think they will let us know if they need a hug or want an embrace. For some children that is true but for others, it is not.

How often do you touch your children?

How often were you hugged when you were their age?

OUr children need to be hugged and touched whether they ever ask for it or not. It tells them they are valued and shows them we care. It connects our heart to theirs and meets a deep need to be connected.

Once kids enter school, the touching begins to dwindle. Middle school children notice a huge downshift in frequency of touch with their parents. High school kids report that it rarely happens. Why is this so?

I think there are several reasons. First, I think most moms are really busy and it simply falls off their radar screen as a non-negotiable with their kids.

Secondly, I think that as the kids get older, it is perceived that they need it less. The truth is they need it just as much but the way we touch them may need to change. A teenage boy is most likely not going to want a bear hug from his mom. He is less likely to protest if she messes up his hair or pats him on the knee.

Lastly, touching is healing. Sometimes when we can't find the words, a touch will say what our mouths can't. They are never too old to be touched and hugged by their mother. It is our right and our responsibility.