As you have heard, PreciousMoms.com is closing its doors. I am so thankful God gave me this opportunity to reach you as a fellow mom but know that many other adventures await me. God's timing is always perfect and I'm optimistic as I look at the future and envision what He wants to bring my way in the way of my writing ministry to moms, parents, and women.

Thank you for stopping by from time to time - I do hope you were encouraged or inspired in some way by the words I wrote.

Please make sure to visit me at my blog - www.beautyinthestorm.blogspot.com or my website - www.emphasisonmoms.com - and make sure to say hello.

I really don't know where this summer went. But I think it has to be the most emotional summer on record for me. Highs - lows - you name it - all emotional. My body is finally crashing with a small cold and even now.... there is not yet time to slow down.

That's just the way life goes sometimes. It's a season - a phase. And although I'm feeling plumb worn out in this current season, I hold it tenderly to my heart. Because almost everything I've gone through has been so personal - and so dear to my heart. The good and the bad.

And just when I think I can't go on much longer, God amazingly gives me the strength I need for another day. He is so awesome that way.

My writing has slowed somewhat but I'm still digging deep and pouring it out -- just not as often right now. It's more important that I currently focus on family - for they are the priority.

I pray that you too, are given the strength you desire and need for whatever it is that you are going through in your own life. And when the days seem overwhelming - just remember to look up. For God is there and He knows every detail of what you're going through.

Wow. What an amazing trip our family had in Panama. It was such a joy to be able to experience a mission's trip together and to work alongside my husband taking photos while he did video. Part of me is still there while the other part is madly trying to catch up on life here back home. It can be hard to adjust after having a "high" doing something so meaningful for the Lord. And yet I know that in the dailyness of my life, there are those things that can have profound and lasting impact as well.

If you'd like to see our video, take a look at the sidebar of this column and go to my blog where I've posted it. I'm guessing your heart will be stolen by the faces of the Panamanian children as mine was!

In the meantime, be patient with me as I get back into a regular routine - whatever "regular" is these days! And if you've been on a missions trip... please do share it with me. How did you adjust to the regular grind again? Have you returned to the field?

Thanks!

~ Dionna

I am really excited. My whole family is about to embark on an adventure! We are leaving on Friday to head to Panama on a short-term missions trip. We are going to help out at some feeding centers as well as visit a home for unwed moms and an orphanage. I know it will be an eye-opening and heartfelt experience.

So, I will have to take a "pause" for the next 2 weeks from blogging here at Precious Moms. I do hope in the interim, that you will remember to keep us in your prayers. We would welcome them!

I've decided that in order to be the kind of person I truly want to be, I need to basically just inundate myself with Christian music, teaching, devotions, scriptures, and people. I've been trying it lately and it is really helping me with my attitude, actions, and thoughts. One Sunday a week, a midweek Bible Study and some Christian music in between doesn't cut it for me anymore. It's not enough. There are too many hours in between those times, where I am vulnerable and can fall prey to my own emotions and weaknesses.

You see, in our culture, we are inundated with messages of materialism, beauty, pride, and selfishness. So it just makes sense that in order to counterract all of that, that I need to inundate myself with Biblical values and truths! I've found that as soon as I get too busy to listen to a Christian speaker, or do a devotion or take time for prayer... then Wham! I'm easily agitated again, or I lose my temper with my children, or I say something I regret. Because I've taken my focus off of the Lord and put it on myself and the world! And that's just not how I want to live.

I want to live in this world but not be "of" this world. I want to enjoy what it can offer me, but not let it affect me so much that I give priority to things that shouldn't have a priority. I don't want to let the world tip me out of balance.

I feel much more refreshed, at peace, calm, and focused as I draw in the support, love, and truths that God can offer me. I am able to handle what is thrown my way better rather than so easily getting thrown for a loop by it, instead!

I'm still gonna screw up. I'm not perfect. I know that I will at times, let the dailyness of life pull me away from getting much-needed Christian growth in my life. But I hope that those times will become a rare occurence, and that for the most-part, I will open up the floodgates of my heart to soaking in all the Christian influence I can- to arm me and prepare me to stand steadily on my two feet as I face the world each day.

I can internalize a lot of feelings. I tend to let things build up inside of me until I either fall apart - or explode....not a good habit, nor good for my physical or emotional health. I learned that when I started having heart palpitations a few years ago. It's amazing what stress can do to the body.

I felt so immature. I felt like I was stupid to let things get out of control - emotionally - inside of me to the point that it affected my health. I felt like I was "not normal" and it took a great deal of prayer, tears, self analyzing, research, love, and growth - to come to a point in my life where I am more honest with myself about what I am feeling and how it affects me. I feel stronger now - even when I'm hurting - because I can be transparent and honest with myself about what is going on.

It's been interesting that as God took me through those personal hurdles and lessons - I found that in no way, shape, or form - was I alone in what I experienced with stress and internalizing feelings. Not only that - but I was far from "not normal." I was very normal!! I was shocked and amazed at how I discovered how many people in life were walking around stressed to the core. People who I previously had viewed as being "cool" or "having it all together." Instead, I found that they too, had allowed stress and internalizing their feelings to affect them emotionally and physically. Whether it's health issues that come up, depression that creeps in, anxiety attacks, doubting their faith, or self - esteem issues, internalizing our feelings leaks out to affect us in some way at some point.
What I wonder is - why do we feel so ashamed to admit how we feel? Why are we afraid to let others see that we are scared, hurt, embarrassed - or even weak?? Why do we feel we must put on a smile and act like we have it all together and life is hunky dory? What are we doing to ourselves?

I've had people tell me that they don't understand how I can feel so free in being myself. That I appear to feel very comfortable in my own skin. I'll tell you something ~ I'm still discovering how to be free in who I am and how to truly be comfortable and free in my own skin. But I think I have begun to tap into that feeling- finally - by simply embracing God's plans for me and learning to be more honest with myself in my daily battles and challenges. God is teaching me to be real and to be honest about my own limitations.

It's not always easy. In fact, some days it downright hurts. But oh - it is liberating. The more I can go to Him and put my cares on HIS shoulders and trust Him to handle them; the more I am able to voice my gut-level feelings to Him - the more I can be honest with myself about my human faults, fears, and emotions.

I'm learning it's okay to feel weak. Because that's when I lean onto God the most instead of trying to control life myself. He is teaching me to be more discerning in what battles I truly want to internalize and what ones I need to let go of. If the challenge is worth my time, emotional energy, and will have lasting repercussions on me or those I love...chances are, I will take that battle to heart. Otherwise, I'm challenging myself to learn how to let the rest go.

And learning I am. Won't you learn with me?
Are you one of those dear, beloved comrades - who like me - has let life infiltrate your body, heart, mind, and soul? Do you know who you are anymore? Do you have health issues - or emotional issues?

Dear friend - I know the feeling of shame that can come upon you when you know that instead of controlling your life - life has turned around to control you. And it doesn't have to be that way. That is Satan's lie to us. Don't let him win. Start today - to get the help you need for your life. Turn your cares over to the Lord as you seek the help you need for your physical or emotional issues. Don't internalize your feelings any longer.

It's time we all start healing and going easier on ourselves. We owe it to ourselves to love ourselves enough to know our limits, enforce our boundaries, and embrace our uniqueness.

It was a sad, sad day for my husband. Over Thanksgiving weekend while visiting family in Oregon, he discovered that Mothers Cookies is going out of business. Mothers Cookies. The company that makes those pink and white frosted animal cookies. Cookies that are among his all time favorites. You should have seen his jaw drop when he was told.

We went to Safeway - no cookies. We went to Wal-Mart - no cookies. I hear that Target has them.

How long do you think cookies will last if we find some and stock up?

I love that I'm such a dork. I mean - it keeps life interesting. At times fun , and at times humbling.

Wednesday morning, I was getting ready for the day like normal. I looked into my bathroom window and saw these two small pails that I'd put up there. I decided that I didn't like them up there and that they'd be better put to use as cute gift packaging. So I went to take them down.

I stepped on the outside of my bathtub and went to cross my other foot to the other side of the bathtub and reach up to the window and pull them down...

...only thing is I was looking at the pails in the windowsill and not where I was stepping. And I missed. I missed the other side of the tub. Bam - down I go into the bathtub. My knee nails the tub wall. I get up realizing that that could have gone really really bad. I cringe at some sore spots and then start to laugh at my own dorkiness as my children yell down the hall (what happened? are you okay?) - oh - did I mention that I had a mouth full of mouthwash during all of this?

So I lean over to the sink and get rid of the moutwash in a gush of laughter. Get up, and realize that I'd scraped my left wrist, slightly banged my left ankle and have a really sore right knee.

Yah - that's me. Ever so graceful me. Not!

Note: I originally posted this on my other blog Using My Voice and wanted to share it with my Precious Moms Readers as well.

I played on our swing set today. Truly, I did. My oldest daughter has been away for the week and my youngest has been feeling a little lonely. She's had a super great attitude but I can see her heart feeling a little lost without her big sis around. So I've been trying to spend extra time with her. Time, that I have realized, shouldn't really be extra but normal time spent daily with her. And oh, how I have enjoyed it!

Yesterday we traced, cut, colored and made some paper animals. Too cute. We've watched ANIMAL PLANET together and today - today we went and played on the swing set together. We were swinging, laughing and having fun together. I felt like a little kid whirling around on the tire swing, standing on the swings, and watching all the tricks my daughter wanted to teach me. We hung upside down, and she told jokes.

I feel refreshed. I feel refreshed because I was outside with the wind blowing through my hair and I didn't care how messy it got. I feel refreshed because I laughed and that's always a good energizer. I feel smart. My daughter thinks I'm the coolest because I came up with silly games like "I spy while we're hanging upside down" and 'I spy a rock" when the whole play area is covered in pea gravel. It was so fun.

Do you remember fun? Our lives can become so encompassed with "duty" that we forget how to have fun. We so often tell our children "no" when they invite us to do something with them. Maybe it's because we fear looking ridiculous or we think we're no good at it. But we lose something when we forget how to live freely as a child.

God tells us that we need to enter the kingdom of heaven like a little child. And I can see why. They have so much to teach us. They can forgive far quicker than we can. They are so good at adapting to changing situations and they are usually very positive - trying to look at the bright side of things. A child can often embrace someone who is different because they know it's what's on the inside that counts. They know how to let things go and just play and have fun.

I didn't get the towels folded this afternoon. I didn't get things dusted and I didn't do some other cleaning. But I played. I played and I laughed and I bonded with someone who means everything to me. It was time well spent.

No one can ever tell me that I wasted an afternoon.

Why do I feel guilty if I don't tell people everything I know? I've been pretty much an "open book" all of my life but I've been learning in recent years to keep some things close to my chest. I'm not trying to be secretive, it's just that I can tell people everything - even things they may not want to know or care to know. I am learning to bite my tongue a little bit more. But I still internally fight this "need" to blurt out all that is on my heart or mind.

Take today for example. My girls' karate owner's wife called me to inquire as to my girls' sizes. She is ordering their black belts for them and wanted to make sure she got belts that were long enough since they would have to wear them for a year. She was really stressing about this because she didn't want them to be too short. I worked through it with her over the phone and told her their clothing sizes etc to help her figure it out. I reassured her that it would be fine and then hung up.

Now comes the guilty, part. I feel guilty because she's making the effort to try and get them a good size belt that they can wear for a year... when I know that come testing in a few weeks, if they get their belts we are taking a huge break from karate - possibly quitting.

I feel guilty for not telling her that we might not be there for a year so she needn't worry about the belt size. Why do I do that to myself? It's not like I'm hiding something from her. I'm just not telling her everything I know. Things could change. Our plans could change. Maybe after our break my girls will really miss karate and want to go back. But there is a good chance they might not.

I'm reminded that God convicts our hearts and Satan makes us feel ashamed. I'm not sure which category my "guilt" falls under when I don't spill the beans to someone but I'm leaning towards the "Satan" category. I think that if I can start to learn the boundaries that I need to implement in my life then I will be a stronger person less prone to pleasing others all of the time. I will become freer. And that is not what Satan wants for my life.

Learning who to tell what in my life is a process. Not everyone can be trusted with the contents of your heart. Not everyone will rejoice with you over good news - they might think you are bragging. Not everyone will lend a shoulder when you share tears - they might feel you are wimpy or simply having a pity party. I'm learning that you have to be discriminate with who you share things with. It has nothing to do with not being a genuine person. It's just knowing who will be able to read your heart with the right intent.

I'm still working my way through this "not telling everyone everything" thing. I'm a work in progress, for sure. But God is showing me how sometimes you can give too much away.. .and then there is nothing left for yourself. And you can't continue to give of yourself unselfishly to others if your heart has been stomped on, crushed, or cast aside because you shared things with the wrong people.

Choose wisely those you tell your soul to. And remember that it's okay that some things are left unsaid.