Too many times I have sat with a mom who was grieving about her child. As she would talk, she usually would say something like,"I knew something wasn't right but no one would listen". As a result, she would doubt her judgment, listen to everyone's voice but her own, and continue to struggle with her child.

That sense moms have is called instincts and we are given them for a reason. I have never had a mom tell me she listened to them and they mislead her. I have had hundreds say they didn't trust them and regret it.

I share this to encourage you to pay attention to your gut. Don't let anyone talk you out of this "feeling" you have with your children. You are the expert on your children and no one knows them as well as you. Listen to your heart and trust the nudging when it comes. You will be so grateful you paid attention and your children will be blessed because they had a mom that developed her intuitive hearing.

Always,

Catherine

Almost daily I talk with a mom who is struggling with an issue about a child that she just can't seem to get her hands around. She will give me history and tell me her child's story, highlighting the frustrations which have come along the way. As I explore the variables with the mom, we typically come to a fork in the road where the mother lost valuable time in solving her child's challenges. And the worst part, the pain probably could have ended sooner for everyone if mom had done one simple thing.

Trust her instincts.

I wish I could tell you how many times I have heard a mother say to me that all along she knew something was not right but because no one validated her, she didn't trust herself. Doctors, teachers, and especially family members will dismiss, overlook, minimize, and excuse behavior, attitude, and developmental issues mom is noticing. This lack of support will cause a mom to second guess her judgment, only delaying the possible treatment and assistance the child will inevitably need to move on in a healthy manner.

God gave mothers ( as well as those in the animal kingdom) instincts. They are to be paid attention to until the gnawing sensation goes away. It was His gift to our gender and role as a mother which gives us that special discernment we need to know our children on an intimate level. The tragedy comes when we fail to listen to it.

So go ahead and embrace this special gift and let's see if peace does not follow from knowing you have listened to this voice inside. While the path may not be easy to address the issue your child may be facing, there will be one less knot in your stomach because you will have confidence you trusted your God given instincts.

Always,

Catherine

I don't know about you, but we have had a lot of media exposure in the last several weeks over families that are falling apart or dying. The most recent issue is the Michael Jackson saga, which is truly sad for the children. Whether or not you were a fan of his is irregardless to the point I am making: When parents fail to prepare, they leave their children vulnerable to the worst possible outcomes.

I have witnessed many situations where a child loses a parent. This is sad and awful for the child on many levels.

However, there is nothing worse than a child being left alone in the world when both parents have died and there are no proper plans in place for them. While there was a will for Jackson's kids, there are so many loopholes in it a elephant could walk through it.

I know parents do not like talk about death but parenting is always about what we want. It does however, need to always be about what is in the best interest of the child. There will be a time when your child will ask the hard question of "What happens to me if somethings happens to you?" and you better be prepared to have an answer that is true because your kids know when you are bluffing it.

Death happens at the most unexpected times and we need to know our kids will end up int he hands of those who truly love them and will unselfishly care for them. In my own family, my aunt died at 37, leaving my uncle with a 5 and a 12 year old. Ten years later, my uncle died, leaving them orphans.

No one ever thinks it will happen to them. For your child's sake, I hope it doesn't. But if you do not want your crazy brother to get your kids or the state to have them in their foster care system, wake up! The time is now to be prepared. It is just another way to say "I love you" to your kids.

Always,

Catherine

When your children misbehave, what is your first thought? Most moms I know panic and run with the kid in tow because they are embarrassed their child has acted out in public. They are fearful they will be judged as poor moms because their children are being difficult.

However, let me share something with you. When your kids misbehave, you need to remember it is about your child, not about you. Too often parents think their children do something wrong, it is a negative reflection of how they are managing their families.

The truth is that children will test and try their parents because that is what children do. They are going to see if you are big enough to handle them when they are at their worst. Instead of letting it make you run and hide, stay focused on what your child needs for you in the moment. What others think about you is not nearly as important as you being what your children need.

When these frustrating moments come, realize that your child is more frustrated than you are and it is your job to step back and try to recognize the issue that is surfacing in unacceptable ways. These moments are your opportunity to respond instead of react. When you do that, everyone will win, even if that means your child is in time out.

Keep the focus on the child and off of what others think. You will be more peaceful because you will know in your heart you have done the right thing.

Always,

Catherine